grandma shit on top of the toilet
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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