So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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