It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
