apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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