Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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