Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Enjoy the penises
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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