i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
