I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
