hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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