Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
