I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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