I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
