Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize