how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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