True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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