in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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