Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
