was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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