what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
