I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
