Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
