She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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