I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
