I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
