I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
