Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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