my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
