What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
