It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
