Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
