I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
