I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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