dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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