I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
