my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
