True but thats because hes a fetus.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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