youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
