She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
