hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
