If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
