The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
