This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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