I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
