i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
