There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
