it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
