It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
