hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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