My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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