I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize