you mean i was at the winter classic?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
