so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
