Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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