Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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