Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
