the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
