and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
