He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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