Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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