I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize