i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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