Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
