Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
