I love black thongs
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
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