I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Houston, we have a squirter
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
